untitled by default.

i want to do more.

take life into your own hands.

although i am horribly depressed and tend to have a closet “woe is me” attitude, i am inspired and hope that some day i can grow up. i don’t mind having responsibilities because for my whole life outside forces or excuses supplied by myself have prevented me from accepting any kind of responsibility. i am messy, unhealthy, i procrastinate, i don’t pay any of my bills except car insurance, i cut corners etc. etc….

but i want the chance to be my own person and pay for my things and have a space of my own. i want to go places and be successful and tell the past to go fuck itself because i am better. there is always hope….i have to remind myself of that more often.

TRUTH:

Although I know I have talent, I know that I don’t have enough to be a successful artist.

BELLS BELLS BELLS BELLS BELLS BELLS BELLS

always in my head.

Oh,

the slip of the slope.

i am disposable.

is it impossible for somebody like me to have a real relationship with anybody? i don’t even have real friends anymore. everyone is sick of me and i of them.

maybe ill find somebody in chicago that’s as emotionally deficient as me so we can just be insane together.

i feel the quick jerk and chug of the engine every time i start my car and think “this isn’t going to hold together much longer”

but it’s not about the engine.

it never has been.

am i dreaming or am i really talking to my almost love from high school and is he really telling me that he wished he would have stepped up to be with me? this is one of those things that you think about before you go to bed and dream about while youre awake when youre regretting what could have been….

i just want somebody to fuck and pass out/sleep with once in awhile…MAYBE even go as far as hanging out sober sometimes. is that too much to ask for?

The Tallest Man on Earth, Efterklang, Delta Spirit. Enough said.

why are all of the good boys dying?